Bringing Sexy Back

If Sexy never left then why is everyone all up on my @#^$@?

Really, I had to do it. I finally figured out this blog thing and I finally found things to say, only to find that no one has written anything since... JULY??? That's going on a year ago now. What the h. U56J is so not taking on the world at this rate. We are more sort of just sitting on a not-so-comfortable street bench next to a smelly homeless person watching the world walk by and hoping it will disturb the pigeons so they stop asking us for bread crumbs, cuz it's all we have left after the hobo stole our smirnoff. (Smirnofficer? aka Slacker???)

So here, I'll blog about my most recent adventures.

Today, a guy from the Department of Education, Office for Civil Rights in Denver called me to set up an inverview! YAY!! It will be Thursday, in the afternoon. First, as every Thursday now, I will be taking the 4/5 all the way up to the 59th street stop so I can work in the kitchen at the St. Peter's Lutheran Church on 54th & Lexington. I work with 3 other people in the kitchen: Doreen, Saul, and Tony. Doreen is an older, meticulous woman who sports a British accent and runs the kitchen with gritty charm. She's a no-nonsense kind of kitchen manager, but she lets Tony be Tony without any complaint. Tony is an older man, Puerto Rican I believe, with a young daughter just entering high school. He drives a community bus for the elderly, and loves to sing in the kitchen. His wife is a legal aide, and he is well versed in the political issues of the day and loves to talk about everything. Saul is an aging, married man in his late 70s. He volunteers to pass the time, and takes his job very seriously. He'd rather stack the dishes himself, because he could show you, but since he does it so well already it would just be a waste of resources because you'll probably be gone in a month anyway. He is here to stay. He has had several heart surguries, but he still flirts with the ladies and they love it. Tony and Saul often argue about who looks worse in the picture Doreen took of them a few weeks ago.
I believe we are having Hungarian Goulash and Kelp again this week. Afterwards, I will rush home for this phone conference business. I've never had a phone interview before (and really, not too many interviews, period, before). Hopefully it goes well.

This blog better not be dying... it's the only one I've got.

Sorry, had to write something. There hasn't been a post since June 24.

Tubing

Just thought I would share my first tubing experience with everyone....lets just say that Boulder Creek bitched slapped me...Twice. Though still very fun and we should all go again sometime. Oh and I just thought I would let you all be jealous and tell you that I get to lop like everyday at work, so... But back to reality summer has been fun and hopefully we can all get together for one last hurah before the summer (which is halfway over) comes to an end. Later!

Lopping in Loveland

Thought I would share with everyone still active in the U56J blog world (don't know if anyone still is) that yesterday I got the opportunity to once again put my lopping skills to use, thanks to yardwork at my parents' house. Though I wasn't accompanied by the rest of the PSP lopping crew (most notably, my professional lopping partner), I got the job done yet again.

Other than that, not much new. The job hunt is still slow and disappointing at the moment. I've only heard back on one application and it was a big, fat "Not qualified enough." Time's almost arrived where I'm gonna have to get to work at McDonald's or someplace crappy like that (not serious of course about McDonald's).

Well, that's about it. Wedding to attend tomorrow. No more US soccer, because they suck ass (mostly Bruce Arena, but I won't bore anyone with my thoughts any more than that). Wish I was in Omaha right now for College World Series...

Heading to bed?

Hello everyone, Just thought I would stop by and say hello before I enjoy my slumber. Yes you may notice that it is only a mere 9:20 in the evening but working all day in 90+ degrees will take a lot out of you. Plus I have come to realize that there is only so much ESPN even I can watch. So my friends, I must say that a camping trip is in order very soon, this weekend offers a bit of a problem (free Better Than Ezra concert saturday) and I shall be out of town the next weekend, but I will offer up my ten person tent to whomever would l like to use it (it's quite easy to assemble). Finally the week after that Jerry apparently will be in Loveland/FT. Collins again (surprise surprise...haha) anyway eventually my friends we shall all cme hither and enjoy the splednor of the summer months. Until we meet again, I bid you adieu (sp?)

P.S. Did anyone catch the spelling bee..intense...the whole time I thought "I can't even spell that shit now"

People vs. U56J

So, thought I would update the blog regarding our day in court. The fine was dropped and all that is required are court fees and 24 hours of community service from Edain. Also note that she could've only had 20, but she felt that was too little, so she bargained the city attorney to raise it... which then prompted the city attorney to advise her not to bargain that way when she actually gets into practicing law.

So, overall, a victory for U56J today. Which is more than I can say for my softball team, as we lost our third game already yesterday night (we've only had four games so far too). Yours truly did the best he could to help the team out, but it was not enough. But what can I do? I'm only one man.

Down to Boulder tomorrow (or today, I guess it's after 1am) to catch the Suns game with Ian. Also found out today that I have a wedding to attend at the same time I was hoping to road trip it out to the College World Series, which is also when the World Cup will be going on. How will I manage all these things over one weekend you ask? Well, for that, you will have to stay tuned to future installments of the U56J blog...

Memorial Day Weekend and other such things

Recent wisdom from my boss: "A hooker with a scarf is generally a guy."

This was quite the crazy weekend. Boulder Creek festival, Elitch's, and wine drinking. Doesn't get any better than that. Oh, and as if I needed any more reason to use contraception, the stupid middle schoolers at the Festival with water guns squirting into the crowd just about did it for me.

Tonight I am going to the chiropractor to fix my neck. I don't know what the h is wrong with it but it hurts like a mo fo. I told my mom I was going to a "specialty neck guy" because my parents don't "believe" in chiropractors. Whatever.

And Ian, you are right. HR is not that cool. And it really pisses Edain off that all the houses and streets are the same. But the party was fun.

Highlands Ranch...not that cool

Greetings and salutations all! So one of the first parties of teh summer I hosted was down in HR last night, many of you were there and it was an ok night. Beers and food were consumed and it was all very relaxed and enjoyable. Yet after cleaning up this morning I realized that HR is not that cool. Not that much to do, and you definitely need a car, shitty city. Anywho just though that I would stop by and say hello, I think I may head out to the golf course (bc it's on the pops-unlike elitches would have been) so enjoy yourselves, and GO SUNS!!!!!

Office World!!!!

So yesterday Ian suggested that I write stories about the people who come into my office. This isn't quite like that, but I think it's amusing anyway. Or maybe the boredom has warped my sense of humor so much that I think it's funny but it's actually really stupid. Either way, I'm going to keep writing it, because it gives me something to do for a few minutes at least.

When last we left our heroine, she was completely bored out of her mind. Not much has changed since then, with one significant difference: the boredom has caused her brain to suddenly develop super powers! Yes, that’s right folks, Chris’s brain was being so underused at her job that it spontaneously developed the ability to interpret waves coming from space! The aliens took pity on her poor brain and gave her some super skills. With the mail sorting ability of a machine, the filing ability of 10 men, a typing speed of 80 words per minute, and text messaging speed like nobody’s business, Chris has become the ideal office worker!

It started just like any other Wednesday. Stupid. Wednesdays are stupid. Who came up with Wednesdays? Chris, in her eternal search for something to do in the office, decides she doesn’t like Wednesdays and is simply going to do away with them. In a sudden flurry of activity, Chris searches through the entire building and cuts the Wednesdays out of every calendar she can find. Then, she spontaneously develops the ability to computer program (probably as a result of supernaturally reading Scott’s brainwaves) and hacks into the National Institute of Standards’ database. She removes all memory of Wednesdays from their computer system. Somehow, this goes unnoticed because all the workers stay home, because Wednesday has become DAYday, and on DAYday, everyone stays home and drinks beer.

Unfortunately, Chris’s arch nemesis, the fax machine, didn’t get the memo that Wednesday has been changed to DAYday. Just as she finishes the beautiful hack into NIST, the fax machine starts to receive a transmission. What the hell? Who would send a fax on DAYday? That is illegal, bitches! Chris gets up to smack some sense into the evil fax machine, but it pays her no mind. It just keeps on receiving the transmission. Damnit, now Chris is forced to deliver the transmission, and on DAYday too. Usually, she doesn’t even read the fax transmissions, but on DAYday, she’s more than a little pissed, and reads it. She discovers it is written entirely in genetic code (this is the Institute for Behavioral Genetics, after all,) and is quite shocked. Another super power her brain has spontaneously developed is the ability to translate DNA code into RNA code, and then realize what proteins that will make! It’s a secret code! The genetically modified mice are going to take over the world! Chris must do something, but what? She’s not allowed into the mouse lab! What will become of our heroine?

Stay tuned for more exciting action on…. Office World!!!!

Wyoming Sucks (in case you didn't know)

Just in case anyone was wondering, don't ever go to Wyoming. Ever. Especially north eastern Wyoming. The place sucks worse than Ben Affleck in Pearl Harbor. All it did was storm like crazy. Plus, there's nothing there but coal, wind, and antelope that jump in front of the highway.

Back in Loveland now and ready for game 3 of the softball season tonight. Glad to hear that certain Loveland-haters were impressed by our awesome town (at least Mary). Those of you still hating, you have to check out jet skiing and wakeboarding on Boyd Lake, North America's two largest sculpture shows in August, and the Fourth of July fireworks over Lake Loveland before you can aptly judge. Oh, and don't count that crazy Surf Side bar in with Loveland, because I don't even know what the hell that was.

Anyway, I'll be back in Boulder sometime soon. Hope our crazy hippy neighbors haven't run you all out of town yet with their mushrooms, buses, and tight, flowery pants. If they're causing trouble, just throw on some Slayer, because if there's one thing hippies hate, it's death metal.

WWAPD?

What would a pirate do?

Eat, drink, and be merry, that's what!

Anyway, here I am, at work, bored out of my mind. News from the office front: a woman called me here in the main office very upset this morning that she didn't get her DNA results back from a study she was in. I transferred her to the person who works on the study. Five minutes later she called back again saying that she didn't get anyone at the number I gave her. I asked her if she left a voice mail and she said yes, but she wanted to talk to someone right now. And so I asked her if she could remember who came to her house to do the testing, and she said it was a young, caucasian female. Well, that would pretty much be everyone who works here. So I just took a written message for her and assured her that I would have the project coordinator call her. So then like half an hour later the project coordinator walks in here, and I told her about it, and she was like, yeah, that lady is not going to be happy. We don't give out the DNA results.

Yes, this is the high point of my morning, in case you were wondering. Only 2 and a half hours until lunch.

Hello everyone...I am so happy to see that Ian and Scott joined the blog. I am sorry that you are bored Ian... but you'll have to let me know how the lopping goes--that sounds pretty exciting. Nothing too exciting going on here. Kate you will be happy to know that I went shopping for what we were discussing at the bars the other night... so yeah I think you know what I mean. I think maybe tomorrow I might get to fix a toilet which should be pretty exciting... I guess my dad has been waiting till I got home to do that so that I will know how to fix a toilet... just what I always wanted to know--I actually think I could have lived in ignorance and been perfectly fine my whole life. Oooo and I might get to play my first game of beer pong tonight...Jimmers told me we would have to cause my parents are going out of town, so we will have to see. Oh and did everyone watch 24 last night??? I won't say anything in case you haven't yet... Anyways hope everything is going well for you all, and I'll talk to you guys later!

And it's officially week 2 of break....

So it is only week two of break, and I am already bored. Waking up at 6 AM every morning to get to work and pick up trash for 8 hours in the sweltering heat isn't quite as much fun as I had hoped. I am anticipating some lopping soon though, maybe I will have to break out the spandex again (everyone would be all too lucky to see that again). Anyway, just thought I would get my first post out of the way, and say hello to everyone! Hope your summers are going smashingly and I will probably see all of you (except Mary :-( ) very soon. Keep it real yo!

-STRUNKS

Hello, world!

If you're as lazy as I am, you can avoid having to check your favorite U56J blog every 5 minutes for the hottest gossip/amusing exploits, go get a News feed reader for your computer and subscribe to our blog news feed.

While I'm at it, visit my blog, chris's blog, and our friend Geoffrey's blog too.

Here's to an awesome summer!

And here are the awesome pics from the scupture park. I think we had way too much fun with this....

Fun times in Loveland

Hey guys, so I am happpy that you guys have joined and are reading our blog!!! So, last night as most of you know that we went to Fort Collins for little Benny's 22nd Birthday. So... Fort Collins bars are not that cool.... and not quite sure about the Drunken Monkey, it seemed a little over the top to me... the whistles reminded me a bit of Margaritaville (not a good memory of Margaritville). And the Surfside bar... deffinitely not cool at all... and um where is the surf, yeah haven't seen any surf in Fort Collins. So yeah I am going to argue that Boulder bars are a little cooler than FoCo....which we will be patroning tonight. Then we slept at Scotts house in Lovelenad... and I do have to admit that I actually really like Loveland.... yes Jerry I do. It is a bit hickish, but very cute and I like it... so I guess I can't really give you a hard time about it.... We even went to the sculpture garden... and we took some pretty cool pictures with the sculptures. And we ate some delicous burritos at the Tortilleria and walked out on the fountain stage at the park. Oh and we got to shoot arrows at scotts house which was awesome and kate even shot a hole into the barn. So fun times in Loveland and Fort Collins. Yeah but gotta go... we're gonna go out and I leave tomorrow--tear, tear... Love ya guys